There has been a lot of talk about introverts lately. While it may be trendy to be an introvert these days, I've always been one and have not found it quite as trendy. I found the playground stressful in grade school, the hallway difficult in high school and in my twenties, nights out rarely involved a large club. In each of these cases, there were just too many social interactions and I was not adept at shifting my responses for each person I encountered, nor did I want to. I was the classic definition of a wallflower. While there were times in my early years that I wished I could be more outgoing, I accepted who I was and established a close group of friends that allowed me to jump in and out of socialization as I was comfortable.
I read an article recently that described a mother's discovery and struggle with being an introvert as a parent. While my becoming a parent didn't help me discover it, parenting has brought with it some challenges to my being an introvert. I can completely identify with the author when she says she'd spend "the entire day dreading my daughter's afternoon ballet practice -- where I'd be forced to chat with other moms in the hallway." It might be taking the kids to the playground and not ballet but the dread is still there. It has nothing to do with the people at the playground and everything to do with me. Talking with new people is hard for me. With kids, though, I can't just be a wallflower (first and foremost because my kids are definitely not wallflowers!) I have to stretch my comfort levels because it is important to their development.
The difference between this article and the many others that have come out lately about being an introvert is she applies strategy. Now that, I can understand! The author says we introverts need to schedule 'me time', hit 'Maybe' on an invitation, realize that our social energy is a finite resource and ask for help when we need it.
I know I am a better parent when we I am not stressed. Parenting is a stressful job to begin with so I think it's OK to limit outside stresses when ultimately, it means I'll have more energy for my kids! If I miss an hour a playdate along the way, I hope the world will understand.
Photo: One Way Stock
